Talk:Naraku (spirit)
Raze here I like it for one. Hmm you could possibly go more in depth about saying how he is able to live on with out a partner as that would mean he woul require a way to receive as suffiecnt amount of energy. You could possibly explore the rational side of his personality as well. He doesnt feel emotion so then he would be able to think without anything impeding those thoughts in combat instea dof becoming the way he is in battle On the flip side of that, I would edit the skilled tactician part a bit as he wouldnt be as good as an average shinigami as he wouldnt be able to think like an emotionally charged warrior. take a samurai for instance. when they are angered and fighting for their pride they come up with several cunning strategies in order to battle the much cockier opponents with guns. (Watching The Last Samurai with some friends atm =P) But other than that...I would say to organize the zanpakuto so that when the abilities mention another one the one mentioned is below it or something so it flows better. =) [[User:Razeluxe91|'Raze']] [[User talk:Razeluxe91|'Kucabara-Dono']] [[Rozeluxe Meitzen|'Light']] 20:24, June 1, 2011 (UTC) :Awe, no good comments? ._. I thought it was implied that there comments if I didn't say anything about it lol. I'm not the type to pick out specifics and say that's good or thats good. I usually like alot and only pick out what I'm not to fond of =P [[User:Razeluxe91|'Raze']] [[User talk:Razeluxe91|'Kucabara-Dono']] [[Rozeluxe Meitzen|'Light']] 20:41, June 1, 2011 (UTC) :Ah, I see. Strife's Review Alright, time to get down to business and punch out the review I promised. I'll use my usual style, so sit back and hopefuly enjoy my take on this guy :P Intro As I've said with a few of your character articles now, especially the later ones, I'm thoroughly impressed by the standard you've been setting with your introductory paragraphs lately, Kou. They are small true, but they include so much information and detail that I can't help but sit back and give you a round of applause, dude. You've wasted no words, nor minced any words in writing this and it flows seamlessly. Everything you've written serves the singular purpose of enticing me, as a reader, to read more. His purpose is clearly defined, as is his age; which gives the reader more info regarding his character. I've got nothing bad to say about this, Kou. I really haven't, and its not very often I haven't something to say about a section. I believe your intros are among the best on this site, and I feel you've found the perfect balance between length and content in the opening segments. All I can do here is congratulate you on a very nice introduction. Appearance What I've said above holds true in his appearance as well. Its a short, but detailed description on his appearance, clothing, facial features etc and flows really well through the different points. You've even included in-universe wording by saying what those around him think, exemplified through statements like "Although highly unexplained, many believe that the cape is to conceal his spiritual energy while opening the gates of hell." Shows what his job is as well. Only thing I can pick out to add to this to improve upon it is perhaps a sentence describing his actual physique. Is he lean-built? Or wiry? Is his physical strength at odds with his appearance? Yes, because you've said lower down that he has quite a degree of physical strength. Something like "Despite his lean-built physique, Naraku possesses a suprisingly degree of physical strength that is in odds with his youthful appearance." You don't have to use that wording, but thats what I'm getting at. Personality Now we come to the section of the article your skills usually shine through in more clearly than any other, including your intro. Personalities have always been your forte, at least in my opinion and I've thought that since you first put together Tsume some time ago. Even for someone as emotionless as Naruka is, you've managed to flesh out the paragraphs quite admirably; which is something I myself ind difficult to pull off when working with characters who hide, or otherwise suppress their feelings. The first paragraph serves to prove my point, as you quickly explain his tendency to focus mainly on impulses and instinct, while at the same time giving him a somewhat human side by saying he can indeed think rationally, though he finds it rather difficult. The second paragraph deals mainly with a subject I felt you needed to deal with to stop people asking questions about how he wasn't becoming just another Tōju. Personality play a large role in zanpakutō spirits, especially those like Naruka who have no master, which fits with your own skills in describing a characters persona. You've also included quite the interesting comment about the Soul King, which makes me begin to wonder why he'd be sworn to silence. Quite an interesting twist, and I give you a thumbs up for it, dude. The final paragraph deals with his battlefield persona, which you've stated to be a continuation of his usual emotionless self. However, you've expanded it by showing a somewhat cruel side, and if anyone wonders how he demonstrates cruetly due to his emotionless persona, you could argue he's simply acting in a way the denizens of hell might act in similar situations. You don't hang around folks for eons without picking up some of their habits :P Anyways, good work and a detailed, descriptive an interesting account for a character archtype I myself find difficult to write. Awesome work, pal. Powers & Abilities You know how I roll with this part, so I'll just do my usual thing. Spiritual Energy:'' You've put his overwhelming amounts of energy down to things in essence: 1) His advanced age and 2) His ability to effectively siphon the spiritual energy of those he sends to hell. When combined, its quick justified for him to have this degree of spiritual power and well-written besides. The fact he has enough to make even those of Naishō's standards cringe with fear is quite the testament to his skill, and all the more impressive to those - like myself - who are familiar with Naishō's strength. '''Speed: Staying true to the fact zanpakutō spirits haven't actually demonstrated any form of high-speed movement techniques outside their own unique zanpakutō abilities, you've attributed his impressive speed to his actual physical powers; which is pretty much the same avenue myself and others have went down in the past. Again, you've described his speed very well and don't mince your words. Swordsmanship: Age plays yet another prominent role in the development of his skills, which is a perfectly valid reason. His skills are undeniably quite high, though he does not focus on any "traditional" form like Kendō as you've already stated. I don't see how that would limit him though, as he'd simply become skilled and masterful in whatever method he does utilize. If he were to combine it with the full force of his physical abilities, he could easily make a destructive style that focuses on destroying a foes defenses or tiring them out quickly with strong, powerful blows. Anyways, that's my griping session over with. The fact he can effortlessly take on experts is also quite interesting, and a further testament to his skills. Nicely worked in, Kou. Strategy and Tactics: A useful skill for anyone to possess, though I reckon Naruka would be quite skilled at analyzing his opponents as a consequence of his emotionless outlook. He wouldn't be swayed or distracted if his opponent resorted to desperate tactics, nor would he pull punches if the desperation of their plight touched him in some shape or form. Take Naishō for example. His tactics may change depending on whether or not an under dog is nearby and in need of help. Such things wouldn't effect Naruka in the slightest, which in itself would allow him to view events around him unhindered by emotion. That's the way I chose to interpret it, and its a nice additive. Well-written to boot! Hakuda: One of the type to hate hakuda, eh? Some characters do, some don't, though my newest ones tend to lean more towards Hakuda than they do zanjutsu. Regardless, you've taken account of his personal feelings regarding the style, his weakness in using it and his general dislike of it. You haven't thrown it completely out of hand, though, meaning he could still throw a sneaky punch if the situation called for it because he can challenge experts for a short time, meaning he could surprise them as well; 'cause they'd naturally be underestimating him. Once again you've worked the different influences the style has on his persona into the description quite well, pal. Very nicely done! Strength: I touched on this slightly with his zanjutsu, though I'll do this part to. See how great I am? lol. The fact he can topple a skyscraper makes me think of Kensei's Hollow Mask augmentation, or even Love's. He pulls his punches though, which actually surprised me when I read it. Judging by his personality further up and how he'd be seen as cruel, I expected him to use his full power; though I guess you could interpret his holding back as a form of cruelty in and of itself. I've got nothing bad to say about this, pal. Zanpakutō The description of the sealed state itself was quite good and well pulled off. Even without a picture, I picture the shape and design in my mind with no problems which is important for RP's and indeed individual stories. The kanji on the blade itself also serves to add a little more flair overall, as its rarely done on the sealed sword itself and usually reserved for the Shikai or the Bankai. Shikai: Time to raise some hell! Haha, I love that release command :P The description and the slight offensive quality of the release itself is also well worked in, with ten meters being a reasonable distance. Unless you've seen the release, your almost guaranteed to be caught in the erupting geyser. A weapon before its even released? Ouch, that's brilliant. Shikai Special Abilities: The Gates of Hell, eh? The fact they're durable enough to withstand attacks from Ulquiorra Cifer with little more than a dent really serve to highlight just how powerful those things are. And while the blade disappears upon release, he can create one easily enough through the use of Kusoken so he can effectively use his main method of combat. Reading the individual skills, I can't help but make the comparison with Tsume's own zanpakutō, though the differences are obvious enough to see. I like the zanpakutō very much, though some of it is quite powerful. The durability being one. Overall I'm giving this article a rating of 8.5 outta 10, 'cause one of the things I feel lets it down is the fact the Shikai is quite powerful. Something that can block an attack along the strength of Lanza del Relámpago really belongs in a Bankai, and not an average Shikai release. I understand you don't like using a Bankai, but it might be something to consider, pal. Aside from that minor problem of mine, very nice article. The entire article flows really well and is written fantastically. I thoroughly enjoyed reading and reviewing this character as well :P Kenji-Taichō (Talk) 11:50, June 5, 2011 (UTC) Sankishin Zanpakutō Holy cow, I didn't even know this article existed. The fact that Naraku is "Masterless" to begin with means that it is akin to the Sankishin Zanpakuto created by my character Tazuma, which are originally masterless Zanpakuto as well. Question...if I find enough masterless zanpakuto in origin and create the Sankishin Zanpakuto as an article, could I add Naraku to the list of that article?ShikonChireru (talk) 15:46, May 9, 2014 (UTC) :You'd be better off asking Koukishi about this directly on his talk page, for he hasn't been active on either BFF or TBF in quite some time now and is actually listed as inactive. Just so you know. Kenji-Taichō (Talk) 07:19, May 10, 2014 (UTC)